LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 30

24 07 2011

Day 30: Anything LGBT you’d like to end this on?

So many thoughts are running through my head. I’ve come so far from where I was 10 years ago. I couldn’t even say “I’m gay” in my head at that age. All that I ever remember thinking about was how/when to end everything if thoughts of sexuality even entered my mind. I prayed EVERY DAY for God to make me “normal.” Needless to say, it didn’t work. But I came through it. I’m ok.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. I struggle with issues of masculinity, identity, dating, self-confidence, but I’m leaps and bounds ahead of even 3 years ago. Life is a struggle every day, but I’ll make it. I’ll figure it out.

This 30 day challenge has inspired me to record an “It Gets Better” video. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but now it’s something I feel like I need to do. Look for it to be coming soon.


LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 29

23 07 2011


Umm…YAY FOR NOT BEING DEAD!!! That’s what I’ve got. I usually only yell when I’m angry and I try not to be angry to awful often. 🙂 But I think this sums up how I feel right now.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 28

21 07 2011

Day 28: Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don’t have to send it.

Dear Friends,

I started writing this letter to my family and realized that you are my family and I don’t want to focus on the negative. There are a few of them that will be there through thick and thin, but I expect most of them to not be permanent fixtures in my life.

You know I love you. I don’t have to tell you that. I just want you to know that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you. I mean that literally. I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for you. I would have long ago given up. But you showed me what love is. That no matter who I am, how I fuck up,what I’m onto or not, you’re always there for me. I can call you at the drop of a hat and you’re there for me. There aren’t words to express how I feel.

Thank you.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 23

8 07 2011

Day 23: An LGBT image that makes you cry or makes you angry?

I don’t really think this needs much explanation.  It just makes me so sad to see that the anger and hatred I had hoped would die with my grandparents’ generation is still alive and well in America.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 19

29 06 2011

Day 19: Butch or Femme?

This is a loaded question and one I have issue with. Who defines what is butch? or femme? I don’t necessarily think these labels are bad things, as labels go, but I think we try to stick to them to rigidly.

Personally, I’d say I’m attracted to people on the more butch end of the scale. I like masculine men. That said, someone who is attracted to more feminine men aren’t any less of a man, they just have different preferences. And as far as my own personality and mannerisms, I’m pretty middle of the road, probably leaning to the butch side a bit. I like to fix and build things, can change a tire and the oil in a car, do some minor construction, but at the same time, I like fashion (looking at it, not so much knowing a lot), music, photography, design. For some, that makes me too femme, even if I don’t identify that way.

I think labels are useful in some ways. As human beings, we need to be able to categorize things to understand them. But we try to cling to these labels, that are often binary, and when things don’t fit neatly into one or the other, we aren’t quite sure what to do. I think that’s something we need to work on as a society. We need to learn that gender and sexuality are binary. And that’s there’s nothing wrong with that.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 18

28 06 2011

Day 18: Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about?

Here’s the thing I don’t get: why the hell is the gay community so catty. I don’t get it. So many times, if you’re not a twink, you’re not gay enough. If you don’t shave your body, you’re not gay enough. If you don’t keep up with the latest fashions, you’re ot gay enough. On the flip side, if you do shave your body, you’re too gay. If you don’t have some muscle on you, you’re too gay.

For a community that is constantly striving for acceptance, tolerance, and equality, we turn on each other at the drop of a hat! It’s ridiculous. I was just reading an article today about a male model and half the comments could say nothing but how badly he had mutilated “such a beautiful body” with his tattoos. Really, people? Really? I just don’t understand. I like masculine men. I like men with body hair. I like men with tattoos and piercings. But I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. Why would anyone else expect everyone to hold their opinion? It just doesn’t make sense. And if you really think about it, if we all liked the same thing, the whole community would be fighting over a few “hot” guys, who would only want to date people that looked just liked them, leaving the rest of us cold and alone.

Grow up. Just as we tell straight people that we’re different, but still ok, we need to tell each other the same thing. Share the love people, share the love.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 17

27 06 2011

Day 17:Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc.)?

My first experience with n LGBT organization was at a Pride festival…and it was an accident. I go to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, TN and my best friend and I, along with our lesbian partner in crime, decided to go downtown to Market Square and get some lunch. We don’t live far from there, but we drove, parked, and headed to one of our favorite spots, Tomato Head. As we approach, we start seeing tons of people. Tons of gay people. I was out at this point, but still not 100% comfortable with it. But as we got closer, I suddenly felt ok. Here were tons of men holding hands with men. And women with their arms draped around other women. And all in East Tennessee, not exactly what you’d think of as a hotbed for the homos.

But here we were, surrounded by happy, healthy, well-adjusted gay people. It was a really positive experience for me. There were other people there who had also stumbled unwittingly on Knoxville Pridefest. The one I remember most was a frat-looking boy and a girl. They were on a date for sure, but whether or not they were in a relationship, I couldn’t say. Either way, the girl was gushing about how cute it was that all the gay guys were there, holding hands and “being themselves.” Her beau kept nodding and trying to agree, but it was all over his face that he was uncomfortable. This said, many students at UT are from very small towns in Tennessee and have very little, if any, experience with openly gay people, especially in this magnitude. I can’t say I was 100% comfortable, so I can only imagine what he was feeling. He was polite and friendly enough and I can only hope he was caught off guard and was trying to soak it all in.

The whole experience was great and I went back, intentionally this time, the following year and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Unfortunately, I have to miss Knoxville Pride this year, and I already missed Nashville’s, but Memphis’ is in October and I’ll likely drive home for it. I’ve never been to that one and it should prove a very interesting experience.