LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 30

24 07 2011

Day 30: Anything LGBT you’d like to end this on?

So many thoughts are running through my head. I’ve come so far from where I was 10 years ago. I couldn’t even say “I’m gay” in my head at that age. All that I ever remember thinking about was how/when to end everything if thoughts of sexuality even entered my mind. I prayed EVERY DAY for God to make me “normal.” Needless to say, it didn’t work. But I came through it. I’m ok.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. I struggle with issues of masculinity, identity, dating, self-confidence, but I’m leaps and bounds ahead of even 3 years ago. Life is a struggle every day, but I’ll make it. I’ll figure it out.

This 30 day challenge has inspired me to record an “It Gets Better” video. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but now it’s something I feel like I need to do. Look for it to be coming soon.


LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 25

11 07 2011

Day 25: The LGBT slur you hate the most?

“Fag.” Unquestionably. I can’t STAND that word. It irks me to no end when I hear it. I heard it used so derogatorily as a kid so often, that it literally makes my skin crawl. I tried at one point to “take it back” and use it, but I just couldn’t do it for long. It’s just so hurtful to me for some reason. It definitely doesn’t bother me like it did when I was a kid, but I still just don’t like it.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 24

9 07 2011

Day 24: The stupidest argument/comment you’ve heard about gay people or an LGBT issue?

There are so many ridiculous arguments, it’s hard to choose! I guess I’ll list a few:

“Gay people shouldn’t raise children because their kids will be gay.”

Yeah, that makes sense because all straight couples have straight children.

“If gay people get married, it will open the door for people to marry animals!”

A Taiwanese man married a barbie doll in 1999.  The first country to allow same-sex marriage was The Netherlands…in 2001. Crazy people are going to try crazy things.  Period. Point. Blank.

“All gay people are possessed by gay demons!”

Yes, I’ve really heard that one.  And I don’t have a snide remark for it.  It just sounds ridiculous.

I feel like I hear these ridiculous statements all the time, but these are the ones I remember most.  Someday soon, hopefully we can all look back and laugh at how insane people sounded. 

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 23

8 07 2011

Day 23: An LGBT image that makes you cry or makes you angry?

I don’t really think this needs much explanation.  It just makes me so sad to see that the anger and hatred I had hoped would die with my grandparents’ generation is still alive and well in America.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 21

5 07 2011

Day 21:Political LGBT issue that is closest to you and affects you the most?

I’d have to say marriage equality and adoption are both equally important to me and I think in many way, they go hand in hand.  Not that all LGBT people that want the right to marry also want to have kids, but I think there are many of them do. 

Marriage says to your neighborhood, your city, your county, your state, your country, your world, that you are committed to someone through thick and thin.  It doesn’t matter about gender, it’s about love. Just this past couple weeks while I was home with my mother, I made the comment that I wanted to get married and and have kids, and she was floored.  She asked me how I intended to do this and I said, “adoption, surrogacy, there are a lot of options.” Then she asked about the marriage and asked, “So, are you just not going to love her?” I was caught off guard this time.  It took a second for me to process and then I realized her thought process.  When I told her I intended to marry a man, she said, “that isn’t legal.” I’m so often surrounded by supportive friends and co-workers, especially in a university setting, that I forget so many people still feel this way.  That is way marriage rights are so important to LGBT people.  Just like not all straight people have to get married, neither do all LGBT’s, but we should have the right to.  We tried separate but equal in the 50’s and 60’s.  It didn’t work.  I don’t understand why that is so hard for people to understand or accept.  But I fully believe I will have the right to marry the man I love, gods willing we find each other, in any of the 50 states in this country before I die.  But if I don’t, as I told my mother, “I don’t give a fuck what the state says is legal.”  You can’t deny true love.

LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 10

20 06 2011

Day 10: What does marriage mean to you?

As cheesy as it sounds, to me, marriage means love. It means that I have committed my life to someone and intend to be with them forever. Through thick and thin, good and bad, richer or poorer. I have no illusion that there aren’t ups and downs or that marriage magically changes a person, but it’s s symbol. It’s a symbol to each other, to the community, the state, the nation, and the universe that these 2 souls are truly committed to each other.

Do I think that everyone has to or should get married? No, of course not. Some people aren’t meant to be monogamous or in that kind of commitment. But should everyone have the right ot get married? Absolutely. And as far as that goes, if more than 2 people want to get married, they should have that right (more thoughts on that here).

Marriage is a societal institution. In some cases, it is a religious institution. But not only religious straight people get married. There is no differentiation in terminology for atheist couples. And the second the government handed out the first marriage “license,” it ceased being a purely religious practice. Hell, in most of modern society, it was more of a business transaction or a peace agreement than about love. It wasn’t until the 1940’s and 1950’s in the West that it truly became about love. So, the idea we have of marriage really isn’t all that old.

And each generation defines what marriage is. People like to argue that it is an ancient institution, but it wasn’t until about 1970 that people of different races could marry each other. And now we see how ridiculous that prohibition was. I full believe in 50 years, children will be confused as to what all the argument was about.

Sister Wives

6 06 2011

I’ve watched “Sister Wives” several times and I always have mixed emotions about the idea of polygamy. It’s not for me, I know. I’m hardwired as a monogamist. But, just like I don’t think it’s fair that the government says I can’t marry another man, I don’t think it’s air for the government to legislate how many people can get married. And in my opinion, you can’t have it both ways. If you’re for marriage equality, you should truly be for MARRIAGE EQUALITY across the board. However, to cut off any craziness that might ensue from that statement, all parties should be of legal, consenting adult age and be able to verbalize. No children, no animals. That’s just ridiculous.

Anyway, on a base level, I’m totally ok with it, assuming that all parties involved know exactly what they’re getting into. No forcing a daughter to marry into a polygamous marriage, no wives/husbands in different states that don’t know about each other, none of that. Everyone needs 100% disclosure up front. If everyone is on the same page, go for it.

But I can’t imagine being with multiple people at the same time…or, ya know, separately. I’m not in favor of open relationship for myself, but again, if everyone involved is ok with it, by all means have fun. I’m not a jealous person, but I think if I knew my significant other was with other people, that might change. I know that polygamy isn’t the same as an open relationship in that all partners know each other and usually don’t engage in sexual behaviors together. But it would still be weird for me.

I do like the idea of having multiple parental units to raise kids, though. How great would that be? It takes a village to raise a child, right? But it would have to be hard on the kids, too. If you homeschool, they’re likely to be socially awkward. Although, with that many kids, maybe not. But the Duggers are… Anyway, but if they go to school, they either have to keep it quiet or face potential torment from peers.

However you look at it, love is love, but polygamy is definitely something to seriously consider before diving in. I can’t help but wonder if even serious contemplation could truly prepare a person for that life.