LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge: Day 6

16 06 2011

Day 6: Did you face any problems regarding religion?

Remember what I said about touching on future topics? Yeah. But, I guess I can go into a bit more detail.

I grew up in Memphis, TN and attended a Southern Baptist church of ~30,000 members. Yeah, I was a mega-churcher. We went a really small General Baptist church when I was really little, but the church kinda started dying off, so Mom decided the big church was the place to go. I remember her acting really weird the first time we went, but she knew there would be a lot of activities for both of us, so we gave it a shot.

I remember liking it a lot as a kid, but there were some bad things going on in retrospect. I remember my (now) ex-step-sister saying that the other kids didn’t like her because of the school she went to. I thought it was just her being awkward, but as I got older, I noticed it myself. By 7th grade, people I had been friends with since I was 5 wouldn’t talk to me. Add that to the fact that I was realizing that I was gay and crushing on other boys and the Sunday school teachers constantly talking about how sex in general was wrong, let alone gay things, and I was a powder keg waiting to go off.

From 12-16, I was institutionalized and attempted suicide 3 times. It was a really dark time. I tried “recommitting to Jesus” more times than I can count. I thought, “maybe I’m not saved,” and went through that again. But it wasn’t working. No matter how much I prayed, I still was attracted to other men. I tried so hard not to be, but that’s just not something you can change.

Around junior year of high school, I read an article about a girl who was Pagan and it sparked my interest. I had always been fascinated by the mythology of ancient cultures and magickal practices, so I began to read everything I could get my hands on. I was hooked. I began reading about all kids of different religions that fell under the Pagan umbrella, finding many weren’t for me in the long run. But I am truly happy now, in a religion that accepts people for who they are and doesn’t ask you to change something at the core of your being. Not that there aren’t close-minded people in the community, but they are few and far between.

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One response

11 07 2011
Nicolina

I tried to get your rss-FEED but the feed url shows me some XML errors..

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